7th July 2018 2 weeks after you left us going to the Memorial Service.
As we approach Charlotte I want the plane to stop .I want time to stop I can feel the emotions building inside of me. I can’t keep a brave face on I know as soon as I see the family I will crack. I don’t know what to say to my daughter in law have not rehearsed it in my head OMG tell me this is a dream please wake me. Tell me I am going to see my son again to hold him the pain is unbearable, numbness, any positive emotion has left me. People are irritating me laughing talking rubbish, don’t they know whats happened to us? Universe help me , give me strength not to fail in this unenviable task I must perform keep all stresses away male the passage as easy to bear as possible. Martin be with me through this talk to show me you are still around. 1455hrs the decent has started my ears are popping tension is rising please please this has got to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do so far, give me the tools to be gracious in all I meet and make the path flow easily. I want to run and hide from this. At home it seemed like a good idea but now I’m dreading it I know its too soon I know I am too weak to do what a Father of a dead child has to do. I want to curl in that ball and vanish HELP!
You don’t have to grieve alone 