7th July 2018 ; As we approach Charlotte Airport NC American Airlines, I want the plane to stop. I want time to stop I can feel the emotions building inside me. I can’t keep a brave face on I know as soon as I see the family I’m going to crack. I don’t know what to say to my daughter in law I have rehearsed it in my head OMG tell me this is a dream please wake me. Tell me I’m going to see my son again to hold him the pain is unbearable, numbness lack of all positive emotion has left me. People are irritating me around laughing ,talking bollocks. Universe help me give me strength not to fail in this unenviable task that I must perform keep all stresses away make the passage as easy to bear as possible. Martin be with me through this memorial talk show me you are still around. 1455hrs the decent has started my ears are popping,tension is rising please please, this has got to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do so far give me the tools to be gracious in all I meet and make my path flow easily. I want to run and hide from this. At home it seemed like a good idea but know I’m dreading it I know its too soon I know I am too weak, to do what a Father of a dead child has to do. I want to curl in that ball and vanish, HELP: What happened next?
FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF; OVER THE NEXT 19 MONTHS + A MILLION OTHER THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS.
DENIAL /ANGER/BARGAINING/DEPRESSION/ACCEPTANCE not necessarily in this order and over and over.
You don’t have to grieve alone 